She Wants to Shake This Scene...

I keep trying to update. I have so much to say. I don't know who or how to say it.

You know when you're really tired and you just want to go to bed, but, it's the longest day ever and you can't, but, when you finally do it's the most amazing comfort you've ever felt. That's what it was like. Did you ever have someone look at you and wish that they would look at you like that forever? Yeah.

Yo, the next few months are going to be so emotional. I can't deal. I'm confident that I will 'cause I have to. I hope everything works out. I hope our worries are just that...worries. Maybe we just have to keep hoping. And eventually the hope will turn into trying and that will in turn lead to a loss of worry and gain of comfort. Let's hope.

It's either a coincidence with timing or the saying that you don't know what you have until you realize you can lose it is it true.

I wish I could go on vacation and come back and still have the same amount of time left in the school year. Pssh, right.


I'd like to thank the one and only Mich Weisman for this quote. "One way to tell you've found an amazing person is when you can only measure their beauty in breaths and hearbeats." Yeah.

I woke up this morning in a really weird mood. Like I felt like I lost somethign that I was so close to having. Like I did something I shouldn't have becausenow I'm going to miss out on something else. And now I'm craving my LJay.

So, I've go to go to work in 20 minutes. I was thinking about trying to find another job for the summer, but, yesterday was one of the girls' last days and I realized that I can't leave until I absolutely have to. I really like it there and I've grown somewhat attached to the people I work with. So, Summer 'O5 shall consist of lots of Express and lots of fun (hopefully).

I've got lots more to write, but, I reallllllly must go to work!! Peace lovers

I'm not ready for the committment of college. Each morning it takes me forever to committ to a shirt that I wear for say four hours? And I now have twenty six days to choose where I will spend the next FOUR YEARS of my life. I mean, I know where I want to go. Getting rejected from Binghamton made that a whole lot easier. I knew even before that happened, but, it's the committment I'm afraid of. I want to wear the sweatshirt tomorrow, but, I'm afraid people will ask if that's where I'm heading. See, I can't even committ to a shirt. Maybe, I'll never be ready, but, it's just something I have to do. We all have to, but, blah.

T597: think of it like if you dont like the shirt midway you can always change it easily

okay...maybe it's not so bad.

-Every mini breakdown I have seems to lead to some greater realization and helps me grow into a more intelligent and emotionally sound individual (how profound)

-I failed math. Well, borderline failed. It's the "I think you'll pass next marking period" grade. I've never failed a class. I've never come close. Pre-calc should die.

-Limo is booked. Hallelujah! (How is that spelt?)

-UMASS this weekend.

-I just had a craving for hookah.

-I <3 Bayside Girls Soccer. :) Last night was my last pre-season dinner/meeting.That's really sad. It's coming to and end folks.

-Today was such a fabulous spring day.

One fucking minute has caused me to regress 2 months! Thank you. Thank you so FUCKING much. Geez.

I had such a lazy day. I woke up this morning and went back to bed after ten minutes of migraining and moaning it up. I slept until 12pm. Got up and was on the couch, snuggled up in my blanket, watching Sex all day. Literally, all day. I got up around 5 to shower. I would be lieing if I said that I watch Sex all day. I also watched Along Came Polly and Oprah. Wow, that was so neccssary to tell you.

I was thinking today about how much we let what other people say effect us. Maybe, it's not what they say or the fact that they said it, but, it's the question of whether they are right or not. Maybe, when we get angry with another person for saying something, we're just upset with ourselves for giving someone else the opportunity to state our own fears.

I am so tired. I was sitting here after my two hour nap all snuggled up in a blanket. I don't want to go to school tomorrow. I feel for some reason like I need to sit in my blanket for a few days and just watch Sex and the City. I feel like a lot of stuff is contributing to that, but, I can't quite put my finger on specific aspect. Maybe I'm just tired.

I just ate carob chips for the first time. How can something that doesnt even melt in your mouth satisfy a chocolate craving. I'm trying to start sticking to my hypallergenic diet again. Carob chips were interesting. I don't think I'll be craving them however.

David is home. See him tomorrow.

I feel like I've been hearing about senior trip forever and now it's over. I'm going to college soon. Woah. Just woah.

I read in my Psych textbook that when you love someone and you are away from them or you just haven't felt their embrace in a while you start to feel physical discomfort. Yeah.

The intensity of this migraine has been fluctuating since Saturday. Please go away migraine. Please. I need to go lay or is it lie or ly? Whatever I need to go do it. ( Not that, you perve)

Senior Trip 'O5 was fantabulous.

Hello, darlings. I hope ya'll are loving the snow. I know I'm loving my tan.

Florida has rocked so far. Got here on Friday in time for dinner. Palm Beach on Saturday and then over to the mall at night with Mommy. Sunday was down to Del Ray where I enjoyed a wonderful day of beaching and Cheeburger Cheeburger-ing with Paul today! We cruised down Atlantic in his 1986 Corvette convertible, which, by the way, he let me drive. Yeah man.

There's something about the beach. When I was younger, much younger, I used to get so frustrated by the beach. The sand getting stuck everywhere plus the long periods of time that I had to spend waiting to get out of the heat, but, now it's like I have this whole new appreciation for the chill atmosphere that is provided by being surrounded by hundreds of other people and the crystal clear Gulf.<3 Can't wait til the weather gets warmer when I can have the option of driving out to the beach alone or cramming the car with a few close friends to spend the day. Then of course I'll be surrounded by the Atlantic, but, tomato, tomahto.

I don't think I've had this many IMs in a long time.

I'm loving my Nicol Richie-esque sunglasses. It's amazing how a little bit of plastic makes a girl feel so glam.

How does that smell make me so happy? False hope anyone?

Woah. Welcome back to LJ, Cait.

Alright, last weekend rocked. Stayed at Tray's while the parents were in NC. Went to parties at Evan's both nights. Tried the hookah for the first time. Chill, it was just tobacco ya'll.

Valentine's Day was cool. I was doing singing telegrams all day. Me, Jess B, Shirley and Ry as our escort. Made people smile. Made people cry. Made people laugh and best of all I didn't hate Valentine's Day. I admit the fact that Rich bought me a rose and a stuffed Snoopy with a fantastic card did help that situation. It was really sweet. I guess I sort of had a valentine.

Tuesday and Thursday weren't anything special, but, today was sor tof relaxing. Went to school, went to the shopping centre to buy new headphones and walked past Express to see it filled with firefighters and surrounded by many fire trucks. Seeing your place of work ( woah hello I'm 52?) in this situation is quite alarming, but, when your co-workers jump up and down and wave as you walked by looking uber ( it's coming back) confused, you are calmed. So went to the doctor. It's just a cold. Phew. Went to get the mani/pedi for Florida. YAY!! SUNSHINE!! PAUL!! BEACH!!! YAY!!

We got a limo guy today or so I hear. I like prom. I really really like prom. Love, love, love having a date.(It's Ryan in case you were wondering)Everyone talks about prom so much. What's the deal yo. I haven't gone out or spoken to someone without prom being brought up in so long. I guess it's cool though. We're all hyped and we are all basically in charge of what goes on.

Trip is in two weeks. Score.

I really must clean the room before I go to sleep. Is it weird that I'm hyped for the airport? I love airports. It's like you always know you're going somewhere and so is everyone around you. You can make up stories to go with the people in front of you on line and the check in counter. Actually, you can do that anywhere. I mostly use the train or buses. I'm excited to go to the bookstore and eat breakfast while on the phone with a friend for the duration of my time in the airport.

I hope I find a boy to play with in Florida. I imagine some beach lovin' would be spectacular.

Alright time to do a little really last minute packing. Love my loves. Have a wonderful week.

Aw, thanks David. Yeah I just convinced him that I was moving to Vermont. I was bored and thought it would be a wonderful idea to play with my BFFAEAEAEAE's head. Yeah.

Today was rather blaze. 2nd period Ms. Schwortz was talking about Madame Bovary's (btw I just typed Madame Ovary and thought that little typo was worthy of sharing) relationship with Leon or whatever his name is. And then she went around the room asking girls what they are going to do with  their boyfriends when it's time to leave for college. She asked me. I said "I don't know. We'll have to see." If anyone finds out who my boyfriend is please tell him I would like to meet him as I think knowing his name should be the first order of business. Random much? What's everyone doing for Valentine's Day? Yo, I just found out that I would have gotten a singing telegram if I was in school year. I'm always in Florida though. Bummer. But I was on the beach so no hard feelings there.

Started watching Super Size Me in Health today. MMM. That movie is the reason why people in America become anorexic. I was starving before I watched that guy eat all that shit. PS: McDonald's is bad for you in case you couldn't figure it out and were planning out suing them. WHAT?!

Senior trip is right around the corner. Aw! Yay.

What would you do if I sang you this song? Man, Jack really knows how to calm me.

Woah. Hello, lack of updates.

Have you ever had one of those days when you wake up and you're just so uncomfortable no matter what you do. No matter what I put on today, or how I stood or sat, I could NOT escape the uncomfortable feeling that encompassed the day. Not even getting back in my bed would help. Of course, the uncomfortable-ness of the day led to crankiness and I really just wanted to come home and pass out. I did that the second I walked in the door.

When I woke up, Jes and I were discussing how nice the weather was, so , I decided that taking a walk with some John Mayer might be rather soothing. Well, it wasn't, but, it sure was funny. So, my neighbor has these TWO totally[I don't think it's possible for me to use this word any more lately] obnoxious dogs that bark and try to jump over the fence if anyone even attempts to walk by. Lately, I'm guessing because of the cold, they haven't been out, so I have been able to walk freely on that side of the street. Apparently, I wasn't the only one out enjoying the day 'cause just as I got half way past this house, I heard the barking. In true Cait fashion, I flipped out and ran across the street...or tried to. My right foot got stuck in a huge pile of snow while my left foot preceded to slip down the icy part of this GI-NORMOUS pile. To finish off this wickedly smooth moment I fell, slid and that's not all...I hit a parked car. This wasn't the ideal way to brighten up my day, but, it was funny once I got up and started going again. I called Tray and Jes as I continued my walk to tell them the story. It's nice to have people to call and tell about this stuff. It's nice that once these people stop laughing with you, they ask if you're okay.<3

Went drving with Dad. Went to the diner to fulfill the french toast craving. Finished it off with the biggest macaroon of my life.

Peace loves<3

Just got back from sushi and getting kicked out of IS 25 with Soph and Evan. Fuck you Ms. Brennan. You man. Did anybody else ever feel like she was the evil twin of the dresser in Beauty in the Beast? I bet now you do.

Last night can be summed up in eight words. Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle. Be prepared to have the urge to trek all the way up Bell with everyone else who may have SMELLED Harold and Kumar. Also be prepared to pay FIFTEEN DOLLARS for a cab from Bell to the Bay Terrace Condos? WHAT?! Yeah.

I'm watching Sex and the City. What else is new?

Singing telegram group...we need to rehearse. How 'bout that?

Seventeen Again by Eurythmics should be a life requirement.

Absofuckinlutley.

Are you on crack?

Thank you J. Bauch and J. Sobel! Thank you Sex and the City! Thank you Anita Diamant! Thank you Gear For Sports for keeping me warm! Thanks you Birkenstock for making my feet comfortable! Thank you George Washington Carver for Peanut Butter! Thank you livejournal for allowing me to have somewhere to put all this and thank you for giving me the option to write more!

I've been snowed in for 24 hours now. I've had way too much time to think and I've realized that letting someone down has got to be the worst feeling ever. Really the worst.

We spend so much time creating an image for ourlseves. In fact,  some people spend so much time that they become image obsessed and forget who they really are. But, most of us just end up looking like what we really are. And then one thing happens to change that image and it feels like it's changed forever. And we can't fix it because time machines haven't been invented yet, even though they would probably make for a completely unhealthy society if they had 'cause we would never learn our lessons.

And then there is gossip. Why do we feel the need to talk about other people? Telling someone else what a third person did or making fun of someone else doesn't make you any better than them. In fact, if they are as bad as you are making them out to be it brings you down to their level. Talking about people gets you no where in life. What's the point then? And if you talk about other people because it makes you feel good about yourself or you're think you're funny then you're and idiot. It just makes other people hate you. So stop talking.

Lastly, my waffles are ready. I'm sure there will be many more updates today.

Fuck you alcohol. Fuck you gossip.

P.S When I was changing the Mood a live version of This Love came on and Adam yelled "How do you feel?" How ironic(al). And my mom just put her phone on speaker and I heard my Grandma speaking and wasn't aware that my mom had put the speakerphone on yet. Scary much?

It was cold today. I went to school. My mom is going to be on Access Hollywood. As much as I hate those shows, that is kind of exciting. More to come.

Can I get an encore? I wish!! This weekend was fucking fabulous!! Friday, Nicole met me after work. We are sooo fun! Saturday. UGH SATURDAY!! Great night!! The karaoke place was cool. We left, all 800 thousand of us, went over the Penn-ish area. Went to a diner. Staged a walk out. Walked hand in hand in Penn Station until ice cream was found. Saw Ms. Marrero at 1 am. Got on the train. Took up way too much of a car for one group of ppl. Got our pictures taken by a random man. I'm still nervous about that. He wouldn't give it up. Oh goodness!! We need to make a habit out of being that fun. Kay? Thanks. Sunday, I was planning to stay home so I went to Millenium with Krista, Sam, Mich and Dennis. Yeah, stayinghome, playing pool. Same diff.

I'm in such a good place in life. I'm seventeen. I've grown into my age. I'm not one for New Year's resolutions, so this was so coincindental with timing, but, like over the Holiday Break I like grew. How corny? Sorry, but, ya. I'm learning to just be happy. I feel like I'm only unhappy if I let myself be unhappy. I'm making myself out to be like some depressed girl. I so wasn't,but, like I just care so much less now about petty bullshit. I just want to have fun. YAY!

I sort of miss school. I feel like I've been away from it for a week. I just miss the ppl. I'm sensing a good week. :D

I was so totally unproductive today. I only did my outline and studied for math for a bit. I feel like I should have done more. There wasn't more to do. :D